Matthew McLewis's Offbeat Unova Adventure
by PK Smugleaf
Summary: Only 255 Trainers in the Unova region are on the autism spectrum, but this is the upbeat journey of Matthew McLewis, who becomes lucky 256. He is going to have a good time, even with... uh... pseudo-communists bothering him. Rated K plus, though it may hang near the high-end of said rating.
1. Starting with Multiple Bangs!

OK, so who am I? I am a non-generic 13-year-old in two places on the autism spectrum. My name is Matthew McLewis, but I have a weird life: I live in Nuvema Town, I have two friends, Cheren and Bianca, as for who I live with, that's my divorced mom and two OBNOXIOUS sisters. It stinks that my nice third one moved out and lives in Aspertia. I want to do something that many autistic people do very rarely: I have wanted to go on a Pokémon journey through Unova. I hate not leaving the rural town that often, and Wii U has been losing its charm. If there's one thing I've wanted to do, it's to go on a journey where I can meet many interesting people and feel what it means to bond with Pokémon. I have no idea why not many people like me don't to this, it might be just statistics. But I have gotten a journal to record exactly what happens. That starts with today: the day I had started my journey. I had actually slept until 10 AM, when I got woken up by Bianca laughing. Well, I was surprised by them being right next to me, and I asked, "Did I sleep that late? And what are you laughing at?" Bianca said, "You sleep talking! Was it something about Andrew Johnson and your bacon?" Then Cheren said, "Honestly, Bianca. It's not nice when you do things like that. Let him get out of his shiny pajamas and get prepared." Yes, I took a shower, brushed my teeth, making sure to get not just the braces, and I even had breakfast in 30 seconds flat. So, I asked after that, "So why are you here and not waiting at your own homes?" Cheren said, "Your mom invited us since the starters were delivered to your house. The Poké Balls are actually in that shiny neon capsule, under your periodic table." Bianca then asked, "So who gets to choose first?" Then I stated firmly, "Cheren's been telling me he'll go last, and it's rude what you did. So let me go first?" Bianca then sighed, "OK, I deserve that. I'll even let you open the capsule!" So I opened the capsule to find three Poké Balls and a note from the professor:

"Hello and thank you for starting your journey. You will naturally have to get a starter so you can begin, so here are the three choices that Unova trainers get when they begin. There is the Water starter Oshawott on the left, a balanced choice. In the middle is the Grass starter Snivy, who is very popular. On the right is the Fire starter Tepig, who seems to be very odd. Choose fairly!"

Well, the moment I read sentence 4 of that paragraph, I instantly made my choice for Snivy. Bianca then said, "Well, it's a good thing you picked Snivy." Then, after a pause, she said, "Okay, Cheren, here's your Tepig." Cheren was like, "OK, that's random, are you just saying you picked Oshawott?" Bianca admitted she was. We were all excited, and then I'm like, "So now what?" Bianca then asked, "Matt, you want a battle?" Then Cheren said, "Whoa, are you sure you want to mess up his room? They're only level 5, but they could still hit hard." Then I said, "Come on, what could possibly go wrong? I control my Asperger's and ADHD quite well." Cheren just sighed and said, "Just don't whine if your room is all messed up as a result." So Bianca and I began. They only knew Leer, which cuts an opponent's defense, and the basic Tackle attack. Bianca just kept telling Oshawott to use Tackle a LOT. I yelled, "Snivy, use Leer!" This cycle repeated. About a minute later, Snivy looked only OK, and I said, "Now finish it with Tackle!" Snivy used Tackle and defeated Oshawott in ONE HIT. Bianca was like, "Amazing strategy, Matt! You really caught me off guard!" Then Cheren yelled, "Hey, listen; I've called you 7 times!" Then Bianca said, "Why are you—" She stopped as she realized what I did at the same time: Our battle nearly entirely messed my room! I was all, "Holy Ronald Reagan. It's almost completely a mess! I love how the fragile stuff is still intact, such as that Wii U." Cheren started slow-clapping. I think he's being sarcastic. Then I asked, "Well, how about a battle with someone who wants to battle calmly? I happily accepted, let Cheren and began. I tried to employ the same strategy before, but unfortunately Cheren got a lucky critical hit and I had to tell Snivy to tackle early. She missed, and actually took 1 HP of damage from hitting the Wii U (which still remained 100% intact!) and became unable to battle as a result! We actually got a good laugh from that, even Snivy. And wouldn't you know, my sisters came in from the next room to mock my skills (but I had the last laugh; I didn't give a hydronium ion about two girls with straight D+'s) and congratulate Cheren only. I just said, "Too bad, I'll disprove ALL the theories!" We all went downstairs and my mom greeted us. She explained, "I know what happened up there. I'll clean up the room AND give Nancy and Claudia hardcore studying. This will be hard for me, but I know it'll be a win-win situation for us and Pokémon. Now, Cheren, Bianca, tell your parents you're soon going to go to the lab.

So I waited, but when Cheren came back, he said, "Something is holding up Bianca. You may want to check it out." When I did, I found Bianca and her dad were in an argument. Then her mom chimed in and said, "All your arguments I disagree with. Matt's autism and ADHD are not contagious, he's much more mature than an average person with them, and he'll be a good influence, like Cheren, let her go to the lab." I never wanted to see that, but we all went to the lab. That's where Professor Juniper greeted us. She said hello and gave us a lengthy explanation on what Pokémon Trainers might do. Some catch Pokémon for research, others attempt the Pokémon League. I thought about being a 29-71 mix of the two. Then Juniper said, "Now, this is when we present you with your Trainer's card, a Poké Ball belt, and the eGear, a mix of the Xtranciever and Pokédex." She showed and gave me a nice dark green one. I remembered that E-flat chord that plays upon starting up. However, mine took longer, and when it finally booted, the G in the chord was flat. I sighed, "Why did that just happen?" Right afterwards, as if answering my question, a weird face appeared on the screen resembling John Q. Adams with error codes under it popped up. It was bricked. Juniper said, "Um… I've getting complaints about that. According to my statistics, one of every 256 has that problem, weird face and everything. There's someone in Striaton City who can fix that, where thankfully, the first Pokémon Gym is. But could you please bear with the bricked eGear?" I replied, "Fine… But this sucks a little!" Juniper said, "At least we don't show you how to catch Pokémon outside, because the complaints got reduced when this video was made here and became used even in Hoenn and Kalos."  
When we saw the video, it had a man in a grayscale tie-dye shirt and green shorts. He said, "Hey there, trainers being born, my name's Emile, and I've beaten leagues in four nations and even the former Champion of Kanto. Twice. Getting anywhere near that would require you to find some 'mons. How to do that, you say? Well, as our cameraman Tim _hopefully_ allows himself to even get close enough, our notetaker John will tell you exactly what I'm doing." This got us laughing mad. The Emile guy continued, "So, there are many places you can find Pokémon such as tall grass, which has more Pokémon if it's darker, dense sand, any dungeony area or—" What made us really laugh was at that point, Tim said, "Hey, look to the left, it's a distraction!" Then John pushed Emile into nearby water, with everyone, both the guys in the video, and us, when Emile yelled, "Or, if **you have a Pokémon which can surf,** the deep water's a good place to look. What the heck, you guys!" Then Tim said, "Watch out Emile! There's a pink Frillish behind you!" Then Emile said, "Fine! A wild Frillish appears or whatever!" He sent out a Misdreavus and John narrated what he did. "He orders his Misdreavus to use Psybeam to weaken it a little. Since Frillish is weakened now, he can use a Poké Ball. No, wait, that's a somewhat more accurate Great Ball. Pokémon that have much strength left can easily break out, so since Frillish is only kind of weakened, he uses a Ball with more strength. One, two, three… YES! HE GOT IT!" Then this strange video ended. And Juniper said, "That's a bit of a rough sketch, but you get the gist of it, right?" We all said yes and Juniper said, "Now, you start for REAL. Head on to Route 1."


	2. N-tering Team Plagiarism!

Alright, Bianca, Cheren and I all went to Route 1 and I said, upon getting near the sign, "Hey guys, how about we all take our first step onto Route 1 simultaneously?" Cheren then said, "Yeah, that's a great idea!" Bianca also agreed so, we did it. Started a journey. Quite literally took our first step into it, leaving me proud. The first thing Bianca blurted was, "Hey, some tall grass! We can all get our second team member here! I said, "Uh… I've seen some 'mons here. They're not that great… But, Snivy could grind a bit on them to get to lucky level 7." So, I helped Snivy grind on Patrat and Lillipup. We had to stop 2 XP short of level 7 because Snivy used up all her PP. So, I said, "We need to heal you up. I'm sure there is something in Accumula Town." We quickly ran there and met Professor Juniper, who greeted us with, "Hello again, Matt! I should have shown this to you a while ago, but here it is. The hot spring for all Pokémon Trainers is this! The Pokémon Center! Let me show you around this place."

We entered a green building with clear walls. Inside on the first floor were these: a green large PC, a table with glass cubes to put up to six Poké Balls in with some tubes into which I saw a nurse pouring in some liquid that resembled olive oil, healing the Pokémon in the balls, and red shelf with Trainer's tools. At the top floor were the "global facilities." However, Juniper only explained the bottom floor: "Matt, this is a Pokémon Center, the general store of Trainers. If you talk to this lady here, she'll heal your Pokémon free of charge. I think you should." I asked the lady, "Hello, please heal my Snivy!" She proudly did this, and Snivy was healed. Then Juniper said, "Isn't it magical? Anyways, let's move on to the shop. You can buy many good resources here, but to get the better ones, you need to have more badges. The basic items you don't need badges for are Potions that heal on the go and Poké Balls to catch Pokémon, OK?" I said OK but before leaving, Juniper asked, "By the way, you never nicknamed your starter. Would you like to do that?" I said, "Totally!" After thinking for two and a half minutes, I made a name that might seem too masculine. Guess. It's named after what chains are made of. It's named after a hero in green with a sword. And its name is Link. When I said that, Juniper said, "Isn't Link a dude? Well, it is your choice. Oh, but one last thing before you leave. I'd to give you something that I only give to autistic Trainers. And, since you are lucky 256, here it is." She gave me an odd-looking Poké Ball. She said, "This is imported all the way from the Sinnoh region! The Heal Ball restores all the health and moves of the Pokémon caught in it!" I was amazed, thanked Juinper, and left. Then, I met the worst idiots of all time.

Outside, I ran into Cheren, who said, "Look, there are some guys on that podium in TERRIBLE outfits. The old guy with an even worse fashion in front of them wants to make a speech." We joined the audience and listened to the old man. "Greetings," he said. "My name is Ghetsis, and I am the father of the boss of an organization some of you may already know about. We're Team Plasma." More like Team Plagiarism, I thought. This Ghetsis guy continued, "For those of you who already know, don't spoil. We want to tell everyone else for you. What we focus on is the rights of Pokémon. I know that there are over fifty million Trainers in the Unova region alone. And even more Pokémon get captured and forced to fight by these so-called Trainers. The reason Trainers say they make them fight is usually because they try to bond with their Pokémon. I, oops, I mean we digress. Pokémon Trainers, such as the wildly popular in Hoenn Emile and 'oh-so-ideal' Champion Red of Kanto, really make their Pokémon fight is just to have a good time at the expense of the Pokémon they have stolen from Mother Earth. Our mission is to take ALL of Unova's caught Pokémon and set them free from ill-disciplined, malicious Trainers. Would anybody like to make comments, questions, or concerns?" Well, I was the only one who raised his or her hand. When Ghetsis called on me, I started an instant motor mouth. "I think that you have potential, but you're definitely in the wrong direction, and that this is breeding grounds for communism, hence why I call you team Plagiarism, and you, sir, Dennis." Well, Dennis was amazed, and just said, "Your name, please?" I said, "My name is Matt." Then Dennis said, "OK, would somebody more USEFUL than Matt like to say anything?" A 17-year-old raised his hand, and Dennis said, "Yes, I know it's 1 o'clock and that I have to do the same thing in Castelia soon. Thank you for reminding me." Then he turned to the men in terrible outfits and yelled, "OK, pack it up here!" Then, the audience except, I, Cheren, and that 17-year-old left. Cheren told me, "That was kind of random when you called them communist." Then I felt the 17-year-old tap on my shoulder and say, "They're not communist. Hello, my name is so long people just call me N." I said, "Well, N, why are you talking to me?" N replied, "I am the leader of Team Plasma. Though I am a Trainer, I absolutely hate the idea of humans abusing Pokémon, hence why I want to separate them from humanity. It shocked me that you called us potentially communist. However, when you said that, I felt a strange feeling coming out of you. Tell me, Matt. Are you a Trainer?" "Yes," I replied. "Though, I've just begun my journey." N said, "May I have a nice conversation with your starter? Yes, I am a Pokémon whisperer. I can actually hear them speaking English and even German." I said, "OK, fine…" I released Link and said, "There's a strange person who wants a conversation with you." To my surprise, it looked very business-like. N looked very amazed after this conversation. Frequently, I heard him say things along the lines of, "This Trainer might be an angel in disguise!" (Which of course is a metaphor, I'm not even 25.) Then N told me, "Wait, is it true that you're on the spectrum and that Link actually WANTS to be with you? Given the nickname you gave her, I was sure she'd be calling you Ganon. Or Navi." I said yes and N continued, "Well, I'd like to see whether that's all fake ideals or the truth your way." I learned what an implication is, so I knew he wanted a battle, which I gladly accepted.

N sent out one of his two Pokémon, a Purrloin, which Link managed to score a critical hit on, amazing N. I told Link, "Finish that devil!" Rather than tackling, it used a new Grass attack and KO'd Purrloin, amazing both me and N. N said, "Congrats, Link on learning Vine Whip, but I have one more tricky Pokémon! Try beating Jigglypuff!" I had no idea they were in Unova, maybe the population will be like Kanto in two years. But N sent one out and made it… sing, to my dismay. Thankfully, being autistic thus giving me a deficiency of the sleepy melatonin, a Jigglypuff's Sing just temporarily fixes that. But Link just fell asleep, leaving N to command it to use Pound. It scored one normal hit and one critical hit, so I felt like I was in trouble. But Link woke up and kept blocking all those attacks with Vine Whip. One time, Link blocked a Pound attack and redirected it to Jigglypuff, knocking it out. N was shocked and said, "You were telling the truth. You are indeed lucky 256. But I don't think you're that lucky. Yes, I'll admit I use Poké Balls when I have to, but when Pokémon are in there for long times… They'll never be perfect. You, Matt, I think you are never going to give the practice up, but since your Pokémon trust you, you are never going to let them down. Hmm… I am kind of sleepy from Jigglypuff's song, so I am going to take a nap in the back of my dad's pickup truck. See you." Then this odd person left, while I went to go to Route 2.


	3. Double Trouble

After that strange encounter Link and I proceeded to Route 2. There were quite a few Trainers, which I easily beat except one, which was a little tricky. So, I thought, I'll have to pick up another team member now. After looking in the tall grass for 20 minutes, Link had become frustrated with me for being picky. That was when I tripped and got wedged between two trees. Thankfully, I got out but came out dizzy. Then I hit one of the trunks and my vision kept spinning. But, then I heard the sound of something deflating. After my vision cleared up, turned around and found Link fighting a Jigglypuff, which put up more of a fight than N's. I told Link, "Hold on, that Jigglypuff might make a good second team member!" Link stopped using Vine Whip and then I tossed the Heal Ball I got at Jigglypuff. For some odd reason it only shook twice, and paused. Then it clicked with a green sparkly effect. I actually yelled a bit, "YEAH BABY!" Then Bianca showed up and said, "That was so loud that I heard it from Striaton City's entrance! Matt, did you ever notice that?" I ironically yelled a bit again, "Nope!" Then Bianca continued, "Well, I want to tell you something, since Striation City is up ahead, you can get your eGear fixed. In fact, I took it from you back in Accumula when you weren't looking to get it fixed for you! It's in Striaton now." I immediately rummaged through my bag and indeed, the eGear was missing and I said, "Honestly, Bianca, thank you, but next time, don't steal it. Anyways, I've found the second member of my team, Jigglypuff, who I think I'll nickname it after its first battle. Should said battle be a Double Battle against you?" Bianca agreed but said, "It would look nicer near the entrance of Striaton." So we went there and began!

I sent out Jigglypuff and Link and Bianca sent out a Lillipup and her starter. I commanded, "Link, Vine Whip her Oshawott! Jigglypuff, Pound Lillipup!" Not surprisingly, Oshawott did not survive that, but Lillipup only took some damage. Bianca had said, "Lillipup, try Leer, then Tackle Jigglypuff!" This did effectively weaken Jigglypuff, but before Bianca could get this repeated, Link actually blocked Lillipup's Tackle with Vine Whip, and it looked at me as if trying to tell me, "Tell Jigglypuff to do something, derpface. I'm not Indiana Jones." So I commanded, "Jigglypuff, use Pound!" It worked and made Lillipup faint, maybe since those Vine Whips weakened it. Bianca was amazed at me and congratulated me. "You are going to make so much progress, nobody will know what happened. Speaking of progress, there's something I want to tell you about the Gym; the Leader gets to take a peek at your starter and you'll face off against a Leader with a Pokémon that is super-effective against yours. Good luck in the heat!"

When I entered the city, I felt a relaxed feeling enter me, but then I remembered that Jigglypuff needed a nickname. Thinking of an idea for a future move-set, I ultimately decided to nickname it Sakurai. After this, I entered the Pokémon center and when I talked to the lady, she seemed to recognize me. She said, "Are you the rumored 'lucky two-fifty-six'?" I said, "Sure am!" She said, "This is amazing! You'll need extra luck, so we all wish it to you! Now, may we help you by healing your Pokémon for you?" I said yes, she healed them, and I got some more Potions to face off against the Gym Leader. However, when I got to the place, I saw a sign saying, "Not currently available, we are please to check back in 10 minutes. (Is Engrish cool or what?) "So, I decided to walk around a bit, and I inadvertently ended up in a Trainer's school. Who would have guessed I would run into Cheren? He greeted me and said, "Did you lose to the leader?" I said, "They're not available for 10 minutes. That does, however, give me time to get some more XP. Do you have the time for a Double Battle?" Cheren said, "Why a Double Battle?" I just said, "You get double the XP for winning! Plus, Bianca did this. Please?" Cheren sighed, "Fine, since I can't resist your begging voice." We then began!

Cheren sent out his Tepig and a Purrloin, and I commanded, "Link and Sakurai, get out there!" Cheren then had Tepig use Ember on Link, who dodged it. But Purrloin used Assist, which came up to be Ember, however, this was aimed at Sakurai and did not do much damage. I had Sakurai sing to Tepig, which effectively paused the damage it could do. Link then used Leer, lowering the targets' Defense. Cheren said, "What a smash strategy you're rolling out. But, I'll have Purrloin scratch at that Jigglypuff!" The scratch left Sakurai OK, but not too well. Meanwhile Tepig was still asleep, leaving Sakurai and Link room to beat it up, which they easily did, but not make it faint. Then, Tepig was still asleep, so I had time to heal Sakurai and have Link finish Tepig, ironically with Vine Whip. Then, Purrloin used Assist and got Ember **again**. This time it hit Link, who didn't survive that! Just Sakurai and Purrloin, had Sakurai use Sing. It worked, so I had Sakurai use Pound, leaving an amazing critical hit. Cheren said, "You just might be a Double Battle maestro! But you aren't done—" He was cut off by Sakurai using Pound one more time, thus winning a lot of XP! Cheren, at a loss, stated, "Um… I stand corrected. Congratulations, since you picked Snivy let me give you two things that'll help." What he gave me were spray bottles, with a picture of a "no sign" over a red flower. "It's a Burn Heal," he explained. "Need I say more, Matt?" "No," I replied. I said, "See you," walked back to the Pokémon Center, healed Sakurai and Link, and went back to Striaton Gym, and thankfully, the sign was being pulled down by a guy with green hair. He noticed me and said, "Are you challenging the Gym, we're ready to resume. My name is Cilan. I will need to see your starter." I showed Link to Cilan and he said, "Ah, you chose Snivy and gave it the best gender-blender name since Teddy. Speaking of names, what's yours?" I said, "I'm Matt." Cilan said, "You're the spectrum guy my sister must have seen in Accumula Town, you said something about Marxism?" I replied, "We depend on Pokémon that much, I feel. Now, may I enter the Gym?"


	4. One Does Not Simply Play Late

When I entered, I found a surprise. The place doubles as a café. I did buy two water bottles and two lemon bread loaves for Link and Sakurai (plus one of each for humans, they must be the favorites of "Team 256"). After finishing, we were explained how to get to the end by the same lady from whom I bought the stuff. She said, "You will have to fight at least two Trainers to make it to the Leaders. However, how you progress affects this number. To do this, you'll see a curtain with three mats in front of it. Both the curtains and mats have a droplet, leaf, or fireball on it. They have an element being represented, and normally we have choose the one that's super-effective, but as an April Fool's joke we switched it to the 'not very effective' choice and forgot to switch it back. Each of your picks except your first will make you battle a Trainer, regardless of whether or not it's correct. So, each of your wrong answers will waste your time. Now, get ready to continue!" So I took Link and Sakurai and then we went to the first curtain with a droplet. Simple, so I got on the fire mat and it worked, the curtain actually rose and let me continue. Then I got to the next one, with a fireball, so Link actually stepped on the leaf mat. Then when the curtain rose, a waiter person appeared. He said, "That Snivy of yours is intelligent, but does she have the battle moves?" So we found out.

That waiter sent out a Lillipup, which Link's Vine Whip made quick work of. Then I got to the last one, a leaf. I stepped on the droplet mat and then the curtain revealed a waitress saying, "Nice moves, Trainer; you've nearly made it to the Leader, but can you get past me?" I replied, "Probably, here, I'll show you!" So, the waitress sent out a Patrat and a Purrloin. These were also easily knocked out, but I did have to heal up after. After coming back in, we instantly ran towards the back room and met three people. One of them was Cilan I met in the entrance, another formal-ish person with blue hair, and lastly some guy with red hair. Cilan greeted me with, "Matt, hello again! I'd like you to meet my brothers; we run this place together." The blue-haired person said, "Greetings, Matthew. I am Cress, and I specialize in the type we all love: Dihydrogen monoxide, or simply Water." Then the redhead said, "I'm Chili! I have a team of Fire-types who can cook to order!" Then Cilan said, "I guess I like Grass-types. Now, there are three of us because… Um…" Then I sighed, "My friend Bianca told me. It depends on the starter I chose, which in my case, is my Snivy, Link." Cilan said, "Wasn't she the girl with 'ditzy eyes?' Anyways, Link is a Snivy, you told us." Chili said, "If that's the case, she'll be in the fire sanctuary; you're up against me!" So, we began.

Chili began with an ironically Normal-type Lillipup, which Link took down with one Vine Whip. Then he sent out a Pansear. I made the somewhat stupid choice of keeping out Link, but she did get to do some damage with a critical hit… from Vine Whip, that's like a normal hit from Tackle. Then Pansear OHKO'd her using Ember. Not the smartest move anyone could make, ever. That left me with Sakurai, so I had to send it out. I decided, "Sakurai, sing a song for your enemy!" He sang, and soon Pansear was fast asleep, and Chili was amazed. That left room for a few Pound attacks, which hit amazingly well. But, soon Pansear woke up. Sakurai used a Pound attack, but missed and flew right into a nearly OHKO Ember. Then I said, "Just finish it!" It used another Pound attack. WHAM. Pansear was unable to battle, and like that, it was over. Chili said, "You. Are. Super. Amazing. Congratulations, you burnt right through the stereotypes of autism!"

Cress said, "That battle was indeed interesting, and having an autistic opponent is already a surplus of that." Cilan then added, "As the 256th autistic Unovanian trainer, you really deserve it, and we're proud to give it to you, so, wait for it…" Then Chili gave it to me. The Trio Badge! Cress said, "This is the first of 8 Unova Badges. To challenge the Elite Four and the Champion of any region, you must first get all 8 of its badges. Congratulations on your first milestone in this grand adventure. Your next stop should be—It would be Nacrene City, but Bianca also told us about your eGear." You'll need to check on that, will you not?" I did, so I had to go check on it. I left, healed my Pokémon, and met a scientist…


	5. Thirty-Six Feet of RANDOM

That scientist was probably Fennel. I did ask her for her name and if there was anything she needed done. She replied, "If that's Matt who Bianca told me about, there is something I would like for you to please do. May I take you to my lab?" I said, "Fine." Thus, we went to her lab, where the first two things I noticed was a giant machine with a PC attached to it and my broken eGear. She explained, "I work in the currently unofficial field of dream science. As any scientist does, however, we do make discoveries that can improve our lives. And that starts with ours." I asked, "What's the mission?" Fennel responded, "The machine I have could be powered by something nearby. Sorry to get off topic, but you see, there is a Pokémon called Musharna that emits a mist that can reveal dreams of those who use it. This Pokémon may easily be found in the very nearby Dreamyard, which is a good spot for those who always lose to the leaders." I said, "But I've already won. Are you implying I need to find some Dream Mist while you procrastinate?" Fennel said, "Yes, you're funny, but I do need Dream Mist to fix my machine and your eGear, and I have chores. So, could you go in there? Your two Pokémon need experience too, for when you head to Nacrene City. So, Link, Sakurai and I went to the place.

There were quite a few Trainers there, but they were all distracted or taking a nap. Instantly, I cut through the grass to find more grass. That grass was tall and shaking. Tall and shaking is always a Trainer magnet, and I'm no exception. I found two Pokémon I knew were Audino in them! **So. Flipping. Awesome.** I know for a fact that when Pokémon beat these things, the Pokémon get 20% more experience than normal. With two, that's 40%. So, I instantly sent out Link and Sakurai to rough them up. I commanded, "Vine Whip and Pound the male!" That instantly knocked it out, and Sakurai learned a new technique from that, as did Link, who learned Wrap. They instantly ignored my next order to try out these new techniques, which got on the female Audino's nerves. It did try to attack, but that attack had been disabled. So, that Audino quickly went down, too. I said, "Congrats on learning new techniques, but please don't misuse them. Now let's find that Dream Mist." Not long after, I ran into Bianca. She said, "Hey, Matt! Did you lose your Gym Battle?" I replied, "No, in fact, I won on my first go. I'm here because I need to find—" Then two absolutely unfamiliar voices appeared, one male, one female. The male voice said, "You two, stop everything and turn to your left!" I deliberately turned to my right to annoy them, and he yelled, "JUST LISTEN!" Two members of Team Plagiarism (as I call Team Plasma) showed up, except these ones had leafy green (pun intended) outfits, not white ones. The woman said, "And who are you, Trainers?" I said, "My friend is Bianca, and I'm the new autistic—" She cut me off. "Let me guess, you're the spectrum guy named Matt, from Nuvema Town? I thought autistic people looked different," she said. I sighed, "You can't tell an autistic person from his looks, and some people with it can use it for profit. Look how far Red from Kanto made it." The man said, "So called Trainers like you and Red are whom we despise, **but not for being autistic**. I thought autism was a product of Sinnoh mythology. Anywho, I'm Blake, and the girl is Whitney A., not to be confused with Whitney C., whom we also despise." Then, something looking like Musharna, but younger floated towards Blake. Blake noticed it and said, "Hey Whitney, we need this, it could give us Dream Mist!" Then he turned to this Musharna-thing and yelled, "Now, make Dream Mist!" He kicked it! This effectively started a long stream of naughty language out of me. Whitney sighed, "You're a feisty one, Matthew. Such tenacity! But, we won't let you stop us. In fact, we love challenges. We're not communists, we're reformers. I need to make your life miserable before you take us down!" Yes, she wanted a battle.

She sent out a Patrat and a Trubbish. I sent out my two Pokémon. Trubbish seemed to come with Toxic, which it used on Link. Whitney had Patrat use Tackle on Link, and Link only took some damage. I commanded, "Both of you focus your attacks on the communist's Patrat!" They instantly took it out with some Vine Whip-Pound combo. But Link took some poison damage, though it wasn't fatal. Then I commanded Link to Wrap Trubbish and Sakurai to use Pound, which left Trubbish at half health. But it used some Poison attack on Link that I don't know what it was. That left Link sort of weak, too. Then, Sakurai used one more pound and Link used Tackle to take out Trubbish. (Pun also intended.) Whitney had run out of Pokémon, and was really mad. Her face was fire red (Pun absolutely intended.) with rage and then she started yelling, "YOU! JERK! What the heck is that, did you give them steroids!?" I replied, "No, did you?" Whitney just sighed, "You're worthless. Blake, destroy him, or I'll tell him your greatest secret!" More battling? Fine by me, and I even get a big secret!

Blake only had a Purrloin, so I tried to send out Link. Bad idea, Link was scratched and fainted from poison damage. It was Sakurai time. Sent him out, and had him sing. Purrloin fell asleep and fainted from a brutal assault of Pound attacks. Blake lost, and he actually started crying. Whitney yelled, "Stop crying, Blake you got me, err… us into trouble. Now, I'll tell him." She turned to me and said, "Blake's secret! Do you know that show with the girly ponies?" I said, "Yes, because my sisters love monopolizing the TV, hence why I have a Wii U." Whitney said, "Well, smart thinking, now you don't need to watch the show Blake _**loves**_." That was awkward to hear, but I just said, "Blake, you're disgusting me." Then Dennis showed up saying, "Well, these are nice conversations. But, Whitney and Blake, I'm disappointed in you two. This is not just about the whole secret thing, which I also think is disturbing, but, why did you kick the Munna?" So that's what it was. "This undermines our mission statement about being for the rights of Pokémon and **not **being communists. So, as I leave, I need you to think about what you have done. And Whitney, you should not have told Blake's secret. Goodbye." Then Dennis **vanished, not walked away**. Then, the Grunts walked away, so Bianca said, "That. Was. Random. Well, I'm going to train more so, see you!" Then after she left, a Musharna floated in and left with Munna. It left some Dream Mist when they left, and Fennel entered, said, "Yes! That's what I need! I'll explain the details later."


	6. And Your Reward is Plasma

After I finally got to finish up stuff in Striation City, I moved on right to Route 3… Only to run in to Cheren. Cheren greeted me with, "Hello there, Matt, I hear you've gotten your badge now. That's great, we've all gotten our first badge. Just like software, as Trainers bond with Pokémon, we all improve as adjustments are made for the next version." I replied, "If that's the case, would you like to do some alpha testing? That Double Battle back there was really fun!" Yes, we did begin.

Cheren still had his Tepig and Purrloin, and I still had Link and Sakurai. We sent out our Pokémon and Cheren made his first command. "Tepig, get Snivy with an Ember attack!" But it missed. All my team's attention was on Purrloin. I commanded Link to use Wrap, and Sakurai to use Pound. That weakened it quite a bit. But then, Tepig used Ember, but by mistake, it hit Sakurai. The hit was survived, but Sakurai was at half-health. Purrloin was still stuck, so making the same commands KO'd it. Then, it was time to look at Tepig. And not as in that way, I meant I needed to KO it. Unfortunately, Cheren's Tepig successfully landed and Ember on Snivy, and it naturally didn't stand a chance. Before I could tell Sakurai to do anything, it too was hit by Ember, which also knocked it down. Cheren had beaten me! I congratulated them, quickly went to heal up, and then I ran into Bianca, who was yelling from a whopping 5 feet away from me. "OH MY GOD! SOMETHING'S GONE WRONG! PLEASE COME QUICKLY!" I sighed, "Fine, if you wouldn't yell." So we went on, and met some old man at a Daycare Center. He said, "So you're Matthew and Cheren, are you not? Either way, we have a problem. Team Plasma stole one of our Preschooler's Pokémon and ran into Wellspring Cave. Now poor Stephanie is crying, but you could chase Team Plasma and get her Pokémon back! Please?" I've hated those communists with the flames of hell. How could I say no? Bianca stayed to comfort Stephanie, where Cheren and I ran into Wellspring Cave. Team Plasma was right by the entrance, specifically, Blake and Whitney A.

Blake instantly looked me in the eye with hatred. "You!" He yelled. "When you learned I was a brony I instantly learned that you're as much as a threat to me personally as you are to Team Plasma." Cheren said, "Then, why'd you spoil it for me?" Blake just then yelled, "SHUT UP! I've—I mean, we've got to end it right here for you!" Battle time! I took care of them even easier this time with Cheren's help, so easier that I didn't bother to record that battle. However, I should record what happened right after. Blake was now **cursing.** After he stopped cursing he said, "Do you hate me for my fandom?" I'm like "Communism has a TV show? But, seriously, I only hate what you like, not you for what you like, and that's only because it became so good it was bad. You'd be compatible with my sisters, especially because of how **evil** they are. They're the reason I got a Wii U." Then, Blake pulled out a somke bomb and said, "Let's do the time warp AGAIN!" He used it, and in the teal smoke, healed his and Whitney's Pokémon." Cheren said, "I think you talk too much for a good reason. As he says, we need to defeat them again." We did in a snap. Cheren said, "Got any more smoke bombs, sir or ma'am?" Whitney sighed, "No. And you've bested us again. Sorry, Blake, I need to—" Blake cut her off. "NO! Matt, I'm gonna make you pay. Pretend you're gonna wrote a letter to—" I sarcastically began, "Dear Princess Francium, you should consider trying to STAY AWAY FROM ME! I hate you, and out of frustration, I wrote a story in which former President Millard Fillmore is reincarnated as your hell god. No points for guessing if he destroys everything in purple flames, including your star student and you. Goodbye, sucker." Cheren said, "You really stuck it to Blake there." Blake and Whitney left, and gave us the Pokémon. We then went out to return it.

Stephanie naturally hugged me, being the preschooler she is. She said, "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthan kyouthankyouthankyouthankyou thankyouthankyouthankyou! I know exactly what I should tell you! Since you helped me get back a Pokémon I loved, I will give you one I got a while ago! They said I catch too many, so would you like this Roggenrola? It isn't nice to me, usually." I happily accepted it. Stephanie told me, "OK, his name is Steve and I need you to take good care of him, OK?" I said, "Without a doubt, Stephanie!" So, I continued on to Nacrene City, where I chose to heal up Link and Sakurai. The place was kind of old-feely, especially considering the accordion player. I also saw a museum. Finding the gym was ultra-hard, because I had no idea the gym was in the **exact same building. Derp.** And speaking of derp, guess who I ran into before entering. That's rights, I ran smack-dab into the communist guy with a British accent, N for Nixon. Hoo boy…


	7. Are You N-joying the Place?

When I encountered N, he told me, "Hello there Matt. It's been a while, and I see from one of Blake's reports to me that you are resisting Plasma very well. Apparently, Whitney spoiled his secret to you. Good luck sleeping, because he's a hardcore fan. Look at his massive toy collection, and the way he uses I makes me sick. I am glad toys can't think, especially since the way he plays with them has made me vomit about 5 times too many." To my dismay, I had a clear picture. "Now focus on me," he continued. "What I'm looking for is to see a perfect future for Pokémon. I also want to see truths of Pokémon in balls and what an ideal Trainer should be." I started laughing at that first part about truths. N sighed, "How very immature of you. What I want is **not** a communist world. Indeed, if handled right, capitalism is good. What I **do** want is a perfect future for Pokémon. Do you agree?" I said, "No, because it's impossible to be perfect, and if you try, you're likely to make a dummy out of yourself." N replied, "Then may I battle you to see how close you can get without becoming a dummy?" I said yes.

N started by sending out a Tympole. Time to call Link out, I thought. So I commanded, "Try Vine Whip!" That took down Tympole before it could attack. N sighed, "You must be a real deviant! Try that against THIS!" Sends out a Pidove, so I try out Steve. Well, thankfully, Steve has learned Rock Blast, but before I can say anything, N has yelled, "Use Gust!" For a not very effective move, that did quite some damage to Steve, to whom I said, "Keep calm and use Rock Blast!" That pretty much toasted it, making N say, "You might be right about the dummy thing. I've got only one friend left; say hello to Timburr!" Only one of my options was not blatantly weak to that. I sent Link out. N commanded, "Timburr? Use Focus Energy, I need to get stuff done!" I needed to get Timburr out before something bad could occur. "Link, Vine Whip!" Which did a bit of damage. But, then Timburr used Low Kick, and nearly took out Link. However, I said, "Link… Try to use one more Vine Whip!" It came out weakish, but Timburr went down. So I had won!

N sighed in disbelief. "I take it I'm a dummy." I nodded yes and heard him continue. "Right now, the perfect world I seek is very far away. We're far from separate worlds for humans and Pokémon, the former of which being required by law to be vegan." I cut him off the moment he mentioned veganism. "Darn it, N, there are only three vegetarians I can even tolerate, my sisters. I tried to convert them by finding their mental weak spots. For instance, two of my sisters, Nancy and Claudia, could be better described as **pega**sisters. So, I told them I had successfully tapped into Parental Controls, and told them that if they didn't eat meat, I'd block channel 68. And until July 4 that year, I did." N stated, "See, you are a deviant, and I must be more stubborn. I need the power that can turn even you vegan in 10, no 2 seconds flat, and thus power that makes the ladies eat their hearts out. I need power that drops dissent with me to absolute zero. That comes from a legendary Pokémon, and I plan on befriending it to basically own everyone who does not agree. Including you. I hope to meet you later, Matt." And he left, so I healed up my Pokémon and then ran into the Gym.

Forgetting that it was also part museum, I asked for directions to the Gym from someone in a tuxedo. This person said, "My name is Hawes, and I should tell you that the Gym is in the back of the museum and that the leader is my wife, Lenora. What is your name?" I said, "Matthew…" So Hawes said, "Are you the autistic person people have been talking about?" I said, "I had no idea of this…" Hawes told me, "Well, that's OK! Now, if you're ready for your challenge, go to the back." I went to the back.

I instantly had a puzzle to solve. Instead, I just derped about until I coincidentally found the button that revealed the room where I was supposed to square off against Lenora. That wasted about 12 minutes. They said I could have solved it in 8 had I paid attention to the puzzle. But, at the very least, I finally cracked the darn thing. Now, I could go down into the basement for my second Gym Match! Yay! (Though first, I did heal my Pokémon.)

When I met Lenora, she greeted me with mix of bright and cool. "Howdy," she said. "I'm Lenora, and I lead this Normal-type Gym! Doesn't your name happen to be Matthew?" I said, "Yes, yes it is." Lenora said, "So you must be the autistic person? I have a good feeling about this!" For a comedic effect, I say, "Sorry, I was distracted by that speck of dust on the ground." Lenora then stated, "I guess you are the rumored 'lucky 256th Trainer' we've been getting rumors of? I'd like to know, what does autism do to the bonds between you and your Pokémon?" I replied, "Well… I think autism and ADHD are powerful tools that can take your bonds and give it an exponent, and it could be negative or positive." Lenora said, "Well, we gotta take some roots in that case!" Battling time at last!

Lenora, oddly asked for a Double Battle, and it happened! She sent out her first two of three Pokémon, a Pidove and a Herdier. For this battle I sent Link and Steve. I made my move first, "Steve, Rock Blast on Pidove, Link use Vine Whip on Herdier!" Pidove did not survive Rock Blast, but Vine Whip missed Herdier. So right then she exclaimed, "And it's a positive root indeed! Better send out Watchog." She did send out a Watchog, and it did something annoying. Lenora said, "Watchog, use Hypnosis on that rock!" Steve fell asleep from it! Then Herdier used Take Down on him. Thankfully it stood strong, but I was worried about Link, whom I had wrap Watchog, then Vine Whip. That did away with almost all its health, but then Watchog and Herdier ganged up on Steve! Yes, he fainted, forcing me to send out Sakurai. I should have done that earlier, to make Watchog sleep! But I commanded Sakurai to do that, and it worked. Link's wrapping skills then took out Watchog, leaving us with Herdier. Then, I remembered he also had Disable. "Use it on Herdier!" And it disabled Bite, then I said, "For a grand finale, Vine Whip and Pound! Brutally as you want!" That basically looked like a highly, highly dubbed scene from the Hunger Games movie, but I was victorious. (The odds must have been in my favor. ;])

Lenora said, "Well, you show the ableists that they're embarrassing themselves like all those Confederates. As per rules, you win the Basic Badge!" Awesome! But no time to celebrate; Hawes ran in mentioning people with bad outfits stealing bones, and two outfits are shiny emerald! Blake, the fool/foal…


	8. E (10?) for Eventuful

Upon my exiting of the Gym, I found that Team Plagiarism had escaped! But then I met this strange looking, European artist. He said, "Well hello, I assume your name is Matthew?" I said yes. Then he said, "Wonderful! My name is Burgh, and I am an artist and Gym Leader!" I said, "Pleased to meet you, Burgh." Lenora then showed up with Cheren and Bianca. Lenora exclaimed, "Oh! I see, Matt, that you have met Burgh. He usually comes here when artist's block starts getting in his face. And with Plasma running about, getting over that will be easy! They ran off into Pinwheel Forest with skeleton parts!" Cheren then said, "We gotta find those bones, and you've gotta help us!" How could I say no? Bianca said, "I'd love to give you something, I hope it helps!" It was a piece of green metal with glass sticks poking out the front. "This Dowsing Machine will find items that are hidden! If the glass sticks begin to gain a blue glow, you're getting closer! The brighter, the nearer!" I said, "Thank you!" and ran into Pinwheel Forest.

I had managed to exhaust my breath whilst running. When I got it back, Burgh showed up. He took a look throughout the forest and then Cheren and Lenora appeared. Lenora said, "They could be anywhere! Smarties would split up in this situation!" She's right. I suggest, "Maybe Burgh and I could go through that curve over there, and you and Cheren try going the easy way?" So I took a calm walk through that curve, but Burgh had walked ahead.

It did not take long for a wild Pokémon to appear. It was a Tympole, so I sent out Link to get rid of it easy. Seems normal, right? Wrong! That was just enough XP for the first evolution on Team 256! Woot! Evolution, as I once studied, changes a Pokémon's species somewhat. That means stats can change, which can be dramatic for Pokémon like Magikarp. But, it's Link. Yet that's OK.

However, it was not long after that when I had run into Blake and Whitney! Ugh. Blake immediately began yelling. "Not you again! What do you have against magic?" I explain to him, as usual, that I don't hate him for the show, even though that does get on my nerves, and instead, I dislike him for being a communist. Upon uttering the word communist, Blake instantly shows he wasn't paying attention to a word I said. I sighed to Whitney, "Could you make him shut up about 'magic and friendship'? He is a rule 63 version of my two annoying sisters!" She says, "Wait a moment. I've seen the names Nancy and Claudia McLewis in credits on these fan flashes Blake likes! …I feel your pain."

Let me explain. I love Just Dance 4, I dislike that show (thanks to my sisters and the insane fans) and how my sisters make a fan work of any criticism I make. So, they decided to toss me into a series of Flash animations where it goes like this: main seven cast of show goes on vacation to a place like Oceanside, California, they run into me, who is a human student potion-maker, they enrage me into throwing an untested potion at them, which turns them into dancers from Just Dance 4, so like the show, it's all about life lessons that help to establish a piece of a cure, and the plot twist is that this was all part of some stupid agreement with a sun goddess so she'd buy me New Super Luigi U. The only thing I ever liked is how I ended up flip-flopping the gender on one of them by turning her into the dancer for Never Gonna Give You Up.

Whitney then says, "But, that's not gonna stop me from not going easy on you! You still call us communists, and communists don't do good like we do!" I explain, "Humans have relied on non-humans for almost the whole 3 million years and counting they've existed, for purposes other than battling or food! You threaten to toss that all away, which, like communism, is flat-out evil. And there are some animals in real life bred to need humans! Blake, your show contains non-humans! What in the name of Shigeru Miyamoto is wrong with you!?" Blake pulls out a Poké Ball and then says, "Well, come at me, bro!"

He sent out a Patrat. I send in the new and improved Link. A mere Tackle is not at all able to take her down, so when I command, "Vine Whip," I see Link make an easy KO **faster** than 10 seconds flat (yes, I worded it that way to annoy Blake). But then he says, "Well, Mr. Evolution Hopeful, say hi to Trubbish!" Dumb move, I knew to switch in Steve. And so we continue, 3 to 2 left. Blake made another dumb move: "Trubbish, DoubleSlap time!" Ugh, he never learned Rock is Normal resistant! But, when I commanded Steve to use Rock Blast, he missed! Then, I remembered! Interesting factoid about Roggenrola: They may learn the Ground-type Mud-Slap, which, could be replaced by a better move, but the foe's Poison-type. I could get rid of it later. So, I commanded, "Mud-Slap, please!" That does away with half of Trubbish's health. Blake then does something smarter: the usage of Acid Spray. But, that missed, which Steve's next Mud-Slap does not do! OK, now 3 to 1 left. Cue Sandile. I then command, "Steve, that's enough! Let Link do stuff now!" So one Vine Whip and I win. That actually happened.

I ask Whitney if she had 'mons for a battle and she sighed, "He was using mine. You got to us **again!**" Blake sighed, "What are you here to bash this time?" I say, "Nothing, I want the pieces of the skeleton you communists made off with." Burgh, Cheren, and Lenora come. Burgh says, "I spy… With my little eye… Our autistic superhero and the two supervillians he's just stopped." Whitney sighed, "Well, forget it! We haven't lost because we haven't given the bones up!" Then Lenora said, "Why do you need the bones anyways?" Then some old-sounding voice pops up: "Ma'am, I can explain everything, including the demotion these idiots are soon to receive."

Then a man in a red appears. "Greetings," he says. His name tag says Gorm. "Blake, Whitney, stop ignoring my texts." He explains to us about the high probability that the skeleton was that of one of the Unova dragons: Zekrom, Reshiram, and Kyurem. (I knew already because I have a huge collection of A+'s!) Gorm continued, "We thought that the bones we stole were part of one of these dragons, but we tried texting you, Blake and Whitney. You should have turned on your—" At that point, I hear a theme song ringing from a phone, and if you heard it, you'd obviously know Blake's phone had been on the whole time. Cheren said, "I guess you should have called him, maybe." I chuckle, but Blake starts yelling something about being a threat to harmony, and I say, "Honestly, if your sisters trick you into reading an M-rated fanfiction, then even communism is more harmonious. Who, for Pete's sake, would bake a bunch of random people into desserts? That's why Disturbia and Run the Show's extreme routine in Just Dance 4 have been ruined forever!" Burgh said, "OK, T.M.I., Matthew, just, let's get the bones back and keep calm and carry on." So we got the bones back, and Lenora and Burgh gave me a big "thank you." And I asked Burgh that when I got to him for the Badge for him to give his all against a disabled opponent (that's me) and he happily agreed. And then after healing my 'mons, I went on through Pinwheel Forest...


	9. Slow Chapter is Slow

The scenery on the bridge was very, very beautiful. So beautiful, I decided, "Well, since Sakurai hasn't been used recently, I should let him walk outside!" I'm proud I did. This added to the awesome-tacular (OK, I have a spazzy side, I don't care!) sunset scenery. And with Castelia's skyline, that squared the charm to this scene. Yes, I took a photo. But holding the e-Gear while walking wasn't the best idea; I tripped and fell next to **a generic girl**. She noticed me, and gave me an awkward look, and I sighed, "May I please get up? Sorry about that." I can't believe the first thing I noticed was the goofy cosplay dress. Hair dyed green in long pigtails, leek taped to her back like a sword, gothic jacket with teal necktie? Clearly Hatsune Miku.

After getting up, the girl I met explained herself with a heavy Texas accent. "So… My name's Sam. As in Samantha Houston. I'm a Pokémon Trainer like you, and what's your name?" I nervously said, "Uh… I'm Matthew, and I'm proud to be Asian." (No, seriously. I actually said that for real because I forgot some "etiquette", and yes, Indian mother + Persian father = Mocha-skinned Asian. With sexy black hair.) Sam said, "Um… O…K…" I nervously then remarked, "So… You were going to explain the dress." Sam began. "There's a NerdCon going on in Castelia, which my brother was going to attend. Then he got sick and since he was going to wear this costume to the contest, he barked at me, '**Do it or I'll spread my pinkeye towards you!**' So I disinfected it and put it on." I instantly started laughing out loud she finished that story! The pinkeye part was my favorite. Then I commented, "But in all seriousness, tell your brother I said hi. Also, Sam, would you like a Pokémon battle?" Sam then answered, "Considering that this costume is made of 44% nintendium, I guess I could have a double battle with you! You could get a kick out of my Dewott and Klink!"

So, I sent out Link, and kept Sakurai out. Clearly an advantage over Sam's Dewott should be taken advantage of. "Link, use Vine Whip on the Dewott, and Sakurai, just sing to Klink!" Somehow, the singing did not work, though the Vine Whip was a near-knockout. I saw Dewott had used a Focus Energy, and Klink tried Gear Grind on Sakurai, and it landed 4 hits. That would have been survivable if the third hit wasn't a critical (stupid magic numbers!). I exclaimed, "Those skills are amazing! I have just one other Pokémon! Check out Steve!" Of course, with a Rock weakness, I had to watch Steve collapse from yet another Gear Grind attack. Sam was close to winning this one. And then, I got owned by a nasty surprise: Sam chuckled, "Hey, I hope this Hidden Power doesn't **bug you**!" Yeah, it did. **I lost to an unlucky critical hit. **Wow. I started laughing like crazy, saying, "That's my second fail this adventure! Also in a double battle!" Then, after calming down, I said, "If you need me, I'll be going to Castelia's Pokémon Center." Sam asked, "Can I go with you?" I accepted as we entered the city.

Upon entering the Pokémon Center, I had a (somewhat) pleasant encounter with Burgh. As Sam and I healed our Pokémon, Burgh greeted us with, "Why, hello again!" Then he asked me, "Who's the cosplayer?" That prompted Sam to give Burgh the exact same story (including the conjunctivitis part) plus the fact that she would have preferred to go as Princess Toadstool. Then Burgh then said, "Well, nerd or not, there is something I **desperately **need out of both of you. Will you please help me?" We both answered in unison, "Sure!"

We went outside after healing our Pokémon, and Burgh said, "Follow me to Thumb Pier!" After exchanging a confused glance with Sam, we looked at a map and I realized, "Oh… This city is hand-shaped, and we need to go to its thumb!" Sam sighed, "Can't believe I missed it!" So we went to the "thumb."

At the thumb, I found one of the more unpleasant sights this trip: Bianca crying, while being comforted by some Japanese-Indian woman. Burgh then explained, "Matt, I'm sure you know Bianca, but for Samantha's reference, she's the blond girl. The dark-skinned woman is Iris. And Iris, it should be obvious who's who because one is a guy with a masculine name." I asked Bianca, "What has you down?" Bianca then yelled, "Shut up! I don't want to talk about it!" Iris said, "Whoa, settle down!" Then, Iris turned towards us and said, "Team Plasma mugged her. They took **all** her Pokémon!" My fist impulsively clenched as I shouted, "**Say what? **For messing with my friends, I'll give those insane communists what for!" Sam then agreed with me, "Well, I never liked those brutes! And I now I hate them! We've got to find them!" Iris then sighed, "That's the issue; we have absolutely no clue where said brutes are. But, where I stay to comfort Bianca, you, Matt, and Burgh could start searching by the Gym." I agreed, saying, "This could work!" And we went by the Gym.

Well, things turned out to be easy. Sam gave us a plan to split up, and about 3.14 seconds afterwards, my foot was touching Blake. Asleep. On the sidewalk. Directly across from the Gym. "Hey, guys, I caught a bass!" I joked. Sam said, "Well, now let me handle this." Sam went up to Blake, and yelled, "**Hey hotshot! Get the heck up now and explain everything!**" Somehow that did nothing! Burgh sighed, "We maybe should carry him in to that room…" I reluctantly said I'd do it. Upon going in, the situation got awkward. Whitney, **Dennis,** and two "sages" happened to be there. When I caught a name tag that read, "Bronius" I started chuckling, then laughing, and Sam caught on too! Then, Bronius (It's still funny!) sighed, "Lord Ghetsis, this is why I hate my job, I'm taking the 30-minute break you promised but never game me at NerdCon now." Then he left. Then, the other sage ("Rood" was on his nametag) sighed, "So, Ghetsis, can we wake that sucker up so we can tell the story?" And then Dennis went to a water machine and filled it with cold water. He went up to me and said, "Alright, crazy, show me Blake's face." He obviously poured the water on his face, and when Blake saw my face he immediately shrieked, "**OHMYGODWHYONEARTHISMYWORSTENEMYHOLDINGMEITLOOKSWRO NG!**" And immediately got up. Then Rood then said, "With all of you here, I can do my story-telling bit, and then I'd like to visit NerdCon myself."

He then began, "I do believe you all know the story of the two dragons, but I expect you don't know the backstory behind the two dragons. Surprisingly, they were once a single dragon. Two heroes used them to bring peace to ancient Unova. At least until they got into an argument over whether truth or ideals were best to rule by, but why is something that God doesn't know. That lead to the dragon getting a great stress overload." _Well, that makes all my Chuggaaconroy-esque freakouts look as small as a phone button, _I thought. "Such great was its stress that the single dragon split into Reshiram, the supporter of truth, and Zekrom, who supported ideals. With two dragons, they ultimately fought until they realized that no one could win because truth and ideals are equal in value. Sadly, their sons didn't know that. They **wrecked **ancient Unova with all this nonsense. And the dragons were eventually turned to the Light and Dark Stones, and they now seek a new hero…" Ghetsis said, "Know what? Stay at NerdCon as much as you like." After Rood left, Ghetsis continued, "Team Plasma seeks to revive a dragon from one of these stones. With said dragon, I—make that we—will liberate every single Pokémon from their idiotic 'Trainers.' Blake, Whitney! Start with Matthew and that Texan cosplayer friend!"


	10. Papers As Neat As This Fanfic Was Once

With Blake and Whitney after us, I opened with sending out Steve, and Sam used her Klink. Both Blake and Whitney sent in a Trubbish, which I've never really liked. Sam commanded to Klink, "Gear Grind the one on the left!" And then I commanded Steve to Rock Blast the same one. We saw the damage stack and it went down after three hits from Rock Blast. That Trubbish did not attack at all! Whitney sighed, "Trubbish, return, and let Liepard do this!" And what Blake did made everyone else in the room burst out in laughter: He commanded his Trubbish to "Sludge-ify the Texan's blasted Klink," but he clearly has no idea that **Poison-type moves can't do blank to Steel!** Dennis actually complained, "Blake, I have no idea why N keeps you even for comical purposes. I've been recording this battle, and what I want is nothing but the spectacular stuff!" Sam then tells him, "You want spectacular? It's in your face! Now, Klink, ThunderShock that Trubbish!" Blake's Trubbish got paralysis! I then commanded Steve to take down that Trubbish using another Rock Blast, which worked! Blake's face turned red as he complained, "Why? Why, why, why?! Watchog, if you mess this one up, I'll lose it!" And he sent one out, and Sam found out the hard way it would be a clear pain in the butt; she noticed, "Dang it! Klink is out stone cold! Any ideas, Matt?" "Yes. Yes, I do," I answered. "Switch out, Steve! Sakurai should take this!" Sam then commanded her Klink to switch with her Dewott. Then I commanded to Sakurai, "Sing to the Watchog!" But Whitney's Liepard stopped it with a Fake Out. And then Blake commanded, "Watchog, hypnotize the ball of air!" Then that missed. The only real action was Liepard getting hit with a Fury Cutter, so I commanded to Sakurai, "Sing to Watchog again!" It worked this time, whereas Whitney had her turn to be the ditz by making Liepard use Fake Out even though it doesn't work after the first turn in battle! "What is wrong with you?" asked Dennis. Then, Sam then had Dewott use another Fury Cutter, which took out Liepard. Now, Watchog was left. And with that asleep, a new attack called Round owned it! Yay!

Blake was very upset at me, yelling, "What the hay!? I lost to that brat who says we're communist! And now he has some cute friend to help him!" Sam then sighed, "I just met him. Please stop that." Blake then exclaimed, "No one cares about that! What does matter is what I will say right now: **We. Are. Not. Communist! We help Pokémon by liberating them! **You with me, Ghetsis?" And then Dennis answered, "Uh… I guess." That was when Iris and Bianca entered the room and Iris asks, "So, did you own them, or what?" Burgh then realized, "Ah, yes, the author nearly forgot! You took Bianca's Pokémon, now we want you to hand them over ASAP." Whitney then sighs, "Fine. Here you go, blondie." Bianca, overjoyed, then thanks them when Sam, annoyed, goes into her face and yells, "Why are you thanking them? Your friend calls them commies for good reasons! Or are you overjoyed, which I understand, but come on!" Then, Sam checked her watch and realized, "Shoot, I gotta get to NerdCon in 20 minutes!" Burgh then suggests, "Matt, try going with her. My Gym is temporarily closed anyway due to the Plasma nonsense, so make NerdCon worth your while!" So, I went, with Sam to NerdCon.

Such a wide variety of nerds, I found! Though at least it was a little like E3. Before going to the costume contest, we actually demoed the new Just Dance game. I hear Unova has new exclusives. Afterwards, Sam registered, when we got interesting news: a judge got food poisoning, and so they asked me to take his place. And I did, and there were a lot of costumes, and Sam's was the only one to get any 10's. She won first place, and not long after, Sam was awarded $300 and an item called a Liberty Ticket, which is a pass to an island off the coast of Castelia City. For some reason, she gave the Liberty Ticket to me, saying, "I've been there and it's only OK service you get. But because the experience is always fun the first time, I'd like you to have it." I answered, "Thanks very much, Sam! And have a great evening." After leaving, I went down to the street and found a strange piece of paper. Upon examining it closely it had the text, "Celebi's Eigh…" Sadly, the rest of the text turned out to be nothing but smudge, but still. Celebi is an absolute time-traveling beast wrapped up in a bundle of Celiac disease-friendly goodness. And there was something else: sheet music! _What would happen if I were to play the song? _I thought. _For now, maybe I should take the paper and analyze it later, _I then thought. It was very late, but luckily, my divorced father (yes, he is **not** in that big whatever in the sky) has an apartment here. Before my journey, it was worked out that this would be my first rest stop, and now I'm there! So… Uh… Good night.


	11. You CAN Grasp The True Form Of Gods

Well, that was the worst sleep I have ever gotten. I got a painful nightmare that began in Castelia City, except it had become run by the terrorists I find Team Plagiarism to be. I did not have any Pokémon with me for obvious reasons. I ended up going outside, to find the sky had changed color from its normal blue to _Earthbound_'s final boss. The first thing that greeted me upon leaving was the sound of a massive shriek from a door right across from the apartment door, followed by Blake coming out saying, "Look at this bad boy!" He was holding **a lithopedion! **Instantly, I tried running down the stairs due to freaking out… Only to find a post-apocalyptic Unova before my eyes. I found yet another lithopedion on the ground upon leaving, and the water in the pier was full of them. I heard the sounds of screams and pain in the center, so I went down Gym Street, noticed the Gym entrance was burned down by debris, and continued to find everyone I love being **burned at the stake by Dennis! **And the moment I yelled, "Stop it, Dennis!" he grabbed me, taped me to N, and threw me into a puddle of gasoline… and sent out a Pokémon called Litwick, and made it use Ember on the gasoline… Only for me to wake up at 2 AM with a note taped to my forehead and I read it aloud. "Get outside, someone is waiting. But first, get out of your jammies. You may also want to do the whole morning routine." So I quickly did that, and even ate a pancake." Then I got outside, taking my Pokémon and bag as a precaution only to find an arrow on the ground in water. _Better do what it says, _I thought. I soon found more pointing to an odd, yet classy looking boat.

Some dude then looked at me and asked, "What are you doing out at 2 AM? You'd better scram if you don't have a ticket!" Quickly rummaging through, I pulled out the Liberty Ticket I got, and the person responded, "Seems legit. You are Matthew, I take it?" I responded, "Yes." The person at the checkpoint said, "Well, don't accidentally be loud about it. Please board the S.S. Harkinarian." Upon boarding, I took a seat at the top deck and saw the water zoom by. I noticed on the boat someone at a stand of some sort, and I asked the woman at it, "So, what is this?" She replied, "I sell ocarinas here, but no one has ever bought anything…" I asked, "Do you have an advanced one not made in Peru? I'll buy one if you have it!" The saleswoman said, "Just hand me 10 dollars." After doing so, I examined it. It was made of ceramic, but was more like fluorite in color. That was all I could examine of the ocarina, because the boat was slowing. _This is the stop, _I thought. After putting away the ocarina, I got off the boat and noticed that someone was sitting in a fetal position in a corner of the building. He asked me, "Uh… Are you serious? The Plasma people will beat you left and right! Do not enter that building!" I replied, "I think something is calling me into that building. Then again, I am atheist, but still… I'm doing it!" I went inside.

After looking around a bit, I noticed most of the wall was colored like marble, but a small chunk looked abnormally cracked and old. I took a good look at it closely, and found notes written in it. As in, musical notes, which prompted me to pull the ocarina I bought out, and played them in order. What happened was a surprise: the part of the wall crumbled, inviting me in. There was a room inside, but it was small. I found almost nothing except a pedestal with a red button. _Normally the red button is fatal, but that's in the movies. I should hit it, _I thought. Turned out to be a pit trap! Thankfully, my landing was softened by water. Then, I found a clear Poké Ball shining a light a few feet from me. I naturally opened it to find quite the shocker: _**A legendary Pokémon. **_Though it wasn't the stereotyped honking big legendary; it was half my height and frankly **so adorable bold text is required. **Said Pokémon was vulpine in nature, but with the occasional angelic trait. Upon seeing it, my reaction was a comically low jawdrop. What happened next totally justified it. It. Talked. (And oddly with a British accent and contemporary tone!) "Well, say something," she said. Naturally, I struggled coming up with something to say. "W-W-Who are you?!" was the first thing to come out of my mouth. The Pokémon I found responded, "My species name? It's Victini. And I take it you are the autistic human named Matthew?" I answered, "Yes, but when you put it that way, that's just cruel." The Victini I found apologized and then asked, "Did you happen to come here because of the humans in silver outfits?" I answered, "Yes, their official name is Team Plasma, but I hate them so much—" I was cut off by the Victini who said, "You call them Team Plagiarism. Sorry for butting in, but despite having been in a long sleep, I know everything about you. For instance, until you were at age 11, you had an extreme and inexplicable fear of marching bands." I bewilderedly reacted, "OK… Can we go together to find Team Plagiarism?" Victini answered, "Sure, but on the condition you give me a nickname." I nodded yes, then began thinking for 56 seconds. At that point, I got distracted and began to think about _Earthbound_, which is when the idea hit me: Since the game is about taking three psychics (and a complete nerd) on an adventure, and there's one character whose default name is Paula. So I settled on that, and I guess Paula was happy with it. "Shall we get going?" She asked.


	12. That Time When

The first thing Paula asked me was, "But how do you plan to get back up from the basement?" I answered, "Easy, I can try to climb up that pillar; it's all I've got." Of course, I tried to climb it only to fail 8 times, slipping down each time. Paula, fluttering over to me asked, "May I help you? It's funny when you fail. Try making it to the point you can, then grab on to me!" I nervously accepted, and managed to make it half-way before starting to slip, then Paula fluttered over and yelled, "Grab on, Matt!" I was internally freaking about whether to jump or not, but I did (after slipping to a third of the way up from one half.) Paula managed to carry me out, and despite the fatigue, did it. "Whoa, nelly! You weigh a ton!" she exclaimed. "Actually, 124.4 pounds," I corrected. Paula just stared at me blankly and asked, exasperatedly, "May we look for Team Plasma and find out who those suckers are? And what they want?" Unfortunately, an all too familiar voice shouted, "Well, you've got yourself the right suckers you needed here!" Whitney!

I then explained to Paula, "See those dopes in emerald-green outfits? You are staring at the two people who are bigger pains in the butt than my obnoxious sisters?" Blake noticed me and complained, "Says the fool who calls us commies and has no idea about—" Paula, seeming to know everything about me (OK, I will not sleep well tonight) answered, "He does it as a metaphor. And despite having been in a long sleep, I know lots about him such as his fear of—" I cut her off and then asked Team Plagiarism, "Well, why on earth are you coming here! Enjoy the scenery, or stalk me and annoy me?" Whitney answered, "No, that's Blake's job, but I apologize if I do it myself. However, this Pokémon which you have nicknamed 'Paula' is what we are seeking!" _Well, I just made a serious screwup, _I thought. Yes, I blushed, and Paula looked at me in a "are you kidding me" face. "We're not going down without fight!" yelled Paula. "Why do you even want to use me?" she asked. "Well, you just made me feel embarrassed the way you phrased that, but I'll explain it in 10 seconds flat," responded Blake. "Our leader wants the power to enforce his ideals over Unova. You have it, we want it!" he exclaimed. "It seems we need a fight, so, we get it!" Yep, battle time.

My first move was this: keep out Paula and send Steve in. Team Plasma had two Pokémon I had hadn't seen a single type of since I got over my fear of marching bands. I asked Paula what they were and she answered, "That, my friend, is a Dark and Fighting type Pokémon known as Scraggy. I have no idea how I'll fare against it, but you know what to do… right?" Uh… of course. I commanded, "Steve, Rock Blast the left one. And Paula, do something to the one on the right!" While Steve found normal damage to the one, Paula had the center of attention with her move: It seems she was flexing her muscles, but actually was charging up a crud-ton of electricity. Paula then shouted, "**Fusion Bolt!**" Instantly afterwards, she rose into the air, covered in plasma blue electricity. Paula levitated for a few seconds, looking for which Scraggy to target. "Have at me!" she shouted as she tackled at the one I had Steve leave alone. It didn't survive, much to Blake's shock. "Woahmagosh, better switch, do so as well, Whitney!" And then they both sent in Sandile, with Whitney joking, "Gee, we just made a stupid move. What usage is an Electric resistance or super-effectiveness on both your friend's types?" Meanwhile, I made a secret switch to Sakurai, and had him Sing to one of the Sandile. I then asked Paula, "Got any bright ideas?" Paula answered, "Yes. I shall show it to you!" She took a look at the one Sandile I had Sakurai sing to—then began to breathe a blue flame at it! "I thought only Reshiram could do that!" exclaimed Whitney. _Which event is it, _she was probably wondering. Blake then cried out, "I surrender! Matt, you and Paula are such a good team, I soiled my underwear!"

Whitney looked at Blake and yelled, "Are you kidding me!? We are not giving up!" Then, Blake's phone rang (once again, I told it from the ringtone.) and he picked it up and nervously said, "Uh… Lord N, it's you." Not long after came an unintelligible yelling from the phone, and Blake sighed, "We didn't get the memo." I could actually hear N yelling, "That's because you're too bloody lazy to check your inbox! If Matt stopped you, may I speak with him?" I then got on the phone with N.

"Hello," I began. N said, "So, with the help of Victini, you stopped the two idiots who gave you a heck of a time. Thanks for that, I sent to them massive amounts of messages to tell them the plans were cancelled. I look forward to our next meeting. See you soon, and tell Victini I said hello." He then hung up. Whitney apologized, then said, "We'll leave ASAP!"

After leaving, I began to say farewell to Paula. "This was really fun, but I shouldn't carry a legendary around with me for now. People may get suspicious." Paula then replied, "It's ok. I will soon go back into my very long sleep, but I'll still remember this moment." Paula actually gave me a hug, which I had no idea how to react to. I then realized, "I'll miss you as well. By the way, the person I was talking to on the telephone says hi." Paula then said, "I'll remember that. Well, I think this is really farewell, so… uh… Bye…" It was difficult, but I ended up leaving. I still had Sakurai out from battle, so when he asked, "Puff?" I answered, "That, my friend, is called loss. It comes, and you have to deal with it. We should go back on the boat…"


End file.
